I’ve taken a second look at complaints. Once I thought I was in error or somehow rejected if someone disagreed or complained. But there are many situations in life that need disagreement, complaining or feedback.
Exercise requires it. You do a new workout or do the same workout with more intensity, you expect your body to give you feedback. Sore calf muscles are wonderful. You know you’re strengthening your arms if they hurt. Here is an interesting article on barefoot running, http://xeroshoes.com/barefoot-running/surfaces/
Recently we had a project at work. Not unusual in itself, but this one required a significant amount of work that needed multiple people to sort and find information. Usually, I do these myself because I’m not sure how to divide the spreadsheet and explain how to locate the information we needed. There was no simple A. B. C. directives. So I assigned the project as best I could and asked for feedback if they were having any issues. Are we finding what we needed? Is there a better or faster way? I expected, wanted, and requested feedback. If no one gave me feedback then how would I know if we were doing it correctly?
Most of the time we as people or as workers hide from feedback. It scares us. Like being called into the principal’s office. A friend of mine always reminds me that it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. It’s a freeing thought, and I don’t mean it abusively. It’s too easy to get stuck and not make any decisions for fear of making a mistake. No one likes the yelling or the correction. It’s an automatic thing to hide from yelling.
Feeling like a victim or thinking everyone’s out to get you is backward thinking. Think of a pinball machine. Designers use a series of launchers, bumpers, and flippers to play a game. Life is a series of walls, springboards, and hurdles sometimes. When I run into a wall, maybe I need to reevaluate. It doesn’t matter if Tom, Dick, and Harry did it that way, it’s not working for me.
A true victim is someone who was acted upon by an unusual circumstance, not due to their own negligence or negative feedback. I often hear people at work complain that no one is listening to them or that management doesn’t notice their abilities. Speak up. They will listen and act upon anything that will actually help them. If they don’t notice your abilities, maybe what you are doing isn’t helpful in selling their product. If I’m needing water to drink, having a truck load of peanut butter is not very helpful, even as much as I think peanut butter is delicious. And you may have a lot of it.
Use the walls or negative feedback as guidance. Your outlook on life will change. You’ll notice that you’ll be able to make decisions easier. You’ll learn a “Let’s try this and see if it works” attitude. Take a chance. Go forward. If it doesn’t work for you, move on and try something different.
Another great writing by Seth Godin, Your call is very important to us.